A chat on not enoughness
Do you ever feel ‘not enough’? I know I do all the time. Not qualified enough for what I am doing now. Not experienced enough. Not as great/clever/wise as some of my incredible mentors. I feel like this is something we should talk about more. Sometimes in the spiritual world we can be told to let the negative feelings go, change how we feel, meditate it away. I have learnt recently it is ok to feel our feelings. To sit in the uncomfortable and sometimes negative. To ask questions of ourselves, to journal, to really think about why we have these feelings. Doing this work helps us to be more aware when they come up. To recognise them and work with them. To know what we personally need to do to move past these feelings.
For me personally, it is action. It is acknowledging these feelings, sitting in them and moving forward even if they still exist. It is allocating ten minutes to write that blog post or review that content. For me, it’s baby steps. For me the feelings go away when I stand in my worth. When I feel drawn to have photos taken with the most incredible photographer, even though I am not comfortable with my physical appearance. It is coming to that moment being honest and open with myself about where I am. But it is also sitting in my worth. Knowing that I do deserve this gift of working with someone who makes me feel embodied. Who makes me feel soft and strong. Who helps me see what I bring to others. The more work I do and the more I discover about myself, I know what I need is to be in the company of people who really see me.
When something doesn’t work out it doesn’t have anything to do with you not being good enough, didn’t do enough work, did something wrong or didn’t try hard enough. All it means is that it is not for you right now. If it really is for you, you will not miss it. The opportunity will not pass you by.
I take action that feels right but uncomfortable. I follow my instincts and ask myself, does this feel right for me and am I scared to take this step? Or does this not feel like the right thing for me to do?
I feel one of the biggest contributors to not enoughness is social media. Now I am not saying that everyone else is making me ‘feel’ a certain way. Quite the opposite. It is usually me who does the judging and comparing. I find myself saying things like “why can’t I be more like xyz and express my opinion. I find myself scrolling and comparing myself with others who have launched a new program or who are always active on social media or who seem so much more put together than I am. I find when I have a break from social media the comparisons are certainly not as strong.
Where does it all come from? For me, I know that it is tied into my childhood trauma. It has been a part of my story as long as I can remember. It’s something that is underlying that I need to be aware of. To catch myself doing. To remind myself that it is a part of my story and it’s all in my head. Every time I can take a step forward, I feel like the next time is easier.
Do you know your story around your not enoughness? Are you willing to change it?