Creating and maintaining boundaries

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”
Brené Brown

Creating and setting boundaries has been a big theme for me over the last twelve months. I feel like I have come such a long way and I was inspired this month to hold a face to face Boundaries workshop. It was such a gift to run this for a small intimate group of some of my favourite women. I was able to create a beautiful, safe, intentional space for the women to drop into for a few hours and where they felt safe and vulnerable with women they didn’t know. I felt honoured that they all trusted me and my gifts to teach them some tools they can use daily. We talked, listened to each other and committed to creating boundaries in the areas of self care, in relationships, with social media and with work.

In this safe space, it is easy to think about the boundaries we want to create or uphold. What can be tricky is upholding these when others cross our boundaries, especially with our family and friends. Ultimately, it’s not just about setting a boundary, then communicating it to those who need to know. That’s the first step. The real tests come when those people cross our boundaries. What will we do then? Will it depend on who they are? Will we give them more than one chance? Will it depend on how important they are to our lives? Will I be black and white?

I have also been exploring my own boundaries in accordance with my Human Design. As a splenic projector, I am designed to be truly recognised by those who value my gifts and invite me to guide them. This feels so different in my body. So nourishing and so easy. What does this have to do with Boundaries? Well, I have been reflecting on this following reading an incredible Instagram post from @theashleystinton. She has inspired me to really set boundaries that are nourishing for me, without worrying about what others might think or feel about my boundaries. To align more closely to my strategy and authority. To do what feels good for me at the time. To change or stop doing what doesn’t. To value my guidance and who I want to guide. To know when a boundary has been crossed and how that feels in my body. That is the real boundary work for me that I am also sharing with others.